This Is Abrasive. Test On Non-Visible Surface First.

[ I hate tooting my own horn, but I feel for this entry, it's necessary to provide you with some background information before I lead you down the road that may end up a sloppy mess. ]

I was raised to accel at everything. And I did, until I was in the 7th grade.  Something, whether it be chemical or physical, changed.  Something happened that made me unable to achieve whatever I put my mind to.  Asking me to perform tasks will get your tasks completed – but don’t expect much more. During my breaks, I’m furthering my quest to fulfill queries of my own mind – I’m not resting like everyone else.  I’m very good at multi-tasking, and I’m very quick to find the answer to anything I need online — research doesn’t take me hours & hours like most others.  I believe it’s my ability to whittle anything down to the bare minute details in a matter of seconds – because I understand how most things function, so I’m not struggling with the concept.  There’s still a disconnect somewhere, and I have yet to find it.

Until the 7th grade, I was a straight ‘A’ student.  Maybe that’s because I thought the world gave a damn.  When I realized that no one other than my parents cared for my educational success, I started cutting corners to do as little as possible to get by. I admit to it now, but I wasn’t actively aware that’s what I was doing as it happened.  I was the type of kid that, when handed a maze on a sheet of paper, would draw a line from point A to B in a matter of seconds, put the pen down, and walk out of the room like a badass. I had clearly conquered the maze.  But now, I attempt to learn a new programing language, and I get so frustrated with myself – it always seems like I missed the first four or five chapters of the book. Maybe because I feel I’m above the programming language? Because I don’t want to invest the time? It honestly feels like I’m only working with part of the materials.

Ever feel like you have all the pieces, but no instructions?

I’ve often looked towards blogging as a successful way to make income – through advertising and such.  There’s a few online who rake in several THOUSANDS monthly, but again, like programming, there’s no starter manual.  These people are self-made millionaires. And like a magician, they won’t tell anyone how they got started, for fear it will diminish their opportunity to make more money — which is why learning a programming language seems so lucrative to me right now.

I haven’t told anybody, but I’ve set a huge goal for myself, and I have every intent to keep working towards it.  I see pictures of it every day of my life, and I can see this goal, and taste it’s air. One year from 3 days ago, I plan to move to California.  I have 362 days left to prosper, to get my life on track, and amass a savings. In this recession, it seems impossible, but part of my goal is to make myself recession-proof.  I get excited just thinking about it.

Many people (including my parents) try to detract me from even the thought of moving out of state.  I’m aware of the hassle of moving.  I’m aware of the costs.  But I’ve been telling myself for the last  few years that once I begin to make decent money, I would exercise my right to live alone, away from everything.  California’s just a place I happened to fall in love with during travels, and I enjoy areas like San Francisco, where people care about health – most of the people there are fit because they have a great place to exercise, they have the ocean, they have mountains, etc. In my mind, this is worth the extra cost.

I’ve made excuses for my lack of finances because I am a full-time college student.  I have great ideas for internet startups (one that’s currently birthed and sitting on hold until I finish college), and from that one idea is a website full of content, and plans for a monthly print magazine. The idea is great because it creates a market that is currently dead. There used to be a huge market, but due to economy and advances in technology, this industry has been swept under the rug.  My only hope is that the companies in this industry (the manufacturers) still exists when my plan comes full-circle.  I look forward to the day I can work with these companies.

In the meantime, I’m finishing my undergraduate degree, and contemplating what’s next. I don’t ever want to grow complacent, and I have huge aspirations. I’m told I’m eccentric at least once a week.  There’s a reason for that, though.  My mind never sits still, and I’m always thinking of something (Yes, even when I’m asleep! I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and scribble notes of things I see in my dreams.)

So, if you’ve read this post and told yourself you’re a lot like me, and you feel you have all the pieces — please, message me! I need help to figure out where my missing pieces are.

• @johncmayer bad music can be funny. I heard a song (by the Judds?) called "Talkin' bout a man". $5 to anyone on Twitter who can find it. #
• I think this is the first time I've ever been able to put my face INSIDE the bowl of ramen. I have achieved noodle zen. #
• My plan was to escape parents and move to California to be the next @aplusk or @johncmayer. Now I don't know what to do with my life #
• This recession = great depression for generations X-Z. I remember this time last year, I had $9,000 in savings. It's gone now. Thanks, Obama #
• Just finished moving. I still hate life cause I know I'll have to do it again in seveal weeks. Now eating normal sized ramen in a big bowl. #
• Moving makes me hate life. There are no joys in moving. Not when I have this many opportunities to be doing other things…like reading. #
• Argh! Moving again! I wish I could just sell my possessions and be totally nomadic. Whoever convinced man he needed a refrigerator is dumb. #
• @starbucksqueen 109? That's all? in reply to starbucksqueen #
• IE sucks in more ways than one! IE sucks as a shell, too. RT@markadams Still at work… IE sucks as a browser. #iefail #
• #squarespace #moonfruit #squarespace #moonfruit #squarespace #moonfruit #spongebob #squarepants #
• Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow #
• High pollen + smoky recording studio have done me in. Night folks. #
• Helping a friend move, then meeting relatives for lunch. #
• I think I'm getting a cold. Either there was high pollen in the air today, or someone at the @oaksleadership auditions was sick. #
• Vegas owes me a lot of money @ 3000:1 odds. I cleaned out my car, and fixed my car stereo! Now I have a working CD changer again. BooYah! #
• Watching season 5 of HBO's Entourage on DVD #
• Forcing myself to be productive tonight. Vegas odds are 3000:1 that it won't happen. #
• Why am I up so early? Did a nuclear bomb go off on the other side of the world, opposite my ear on my pillow?? #
• @KyleEssary Maybe soon, I'll get the chance. Possibly coming to Japan in a few months. in reply to KyleEssary #
• @starbucksqueen Knock on wood, we'll have a burn-ban in effect by next week. #
• @starbucksqueen It's the proximity of Plano to Oklahoma. I think Oklahoma's weather is one of God's 7 plagues. #
• @musiqman84 "Die in the next 30 minutes and I'll double…no, triple your order!" #
• @kyleessary I had that durian stuff in a Popsicle the other night. I couldn't stand it. #
• I'd give anything to be in the CA Bay today. #
• @starbucksqueen torrential downpour might have something to do with that. #
• Waiting for the rain to stop so I can clean out my car. #
• Though, there's the rare instance that genius strikes and you record your hit song in a night. Those are the moments I live for. #
• From the mouth of me: A good record isn't made in a weekend. It's like a marinade. The longer it takes, the more tasteful it becomes. #
• Ever wish sometimes you could just start all over? Sometimes things are rushed, and we lose sight of the beauty of what we're creating. #
• Workship rocked. Time for a nap, cause worship wears me out. #
• David Buyse just said he was gay for sunglasses. #
• Ah, home. Finally. #
• Spent a day with @shaneandshane, @starbucksqueen, @solideogloria, and @oaksleadership. Good times. #
• @justinlathrop indeed I went. I think it went well. Glad to be the oldest there. Gotta rep wrinkles, ya know?! in reply to justinlathrop #
• Still waiting to play my audition for @shaneandshane and @oaksleadershsip #
• I'm in a bus being drivin by Shane Everett. Cool. #
• Very early morning for me. Getting ready to head to Red Oak. #
• @KyleEssary – I haven't left. I still have summer classes to wrap up. Dunno what I'm doing next semester. #
• @oaksleadership I'm left in the dark about the intern auditions. No one called me to give me any info. Help!? #
• @JFrankenstein happy birthday. See ya tomorrow. in reply to JFrankenstein #